Date: Wed, 30 Oct 2013 09:01:51 -0400
From: cryptik
Subject: Laughing as I burn patchouli and hydrocarbons
The Chatlist is a splendid entertainment medium. No, really, it is! I probably keep this email address around so I can read it daily. There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing what comes of peoples’ failure to read and think for a minute before clicking “send.” More importantly, it’s a fantastic way to have the Chatham County fascists, bigots, mudslingers, et al expose themselves. Classic posts such as “how can us anachronistic types circumvent development (legally or otherwise) that is SHOCKINGLY managing to REMAIN WITHIN THE LAW?! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!”
Or, when we’re not busy raging on completely legal development, let’s throw feces indiscriminately about piercings, dog tethering, generators, Amendment One positions, Shakori Hills stereotypes, fracking, how dumb we think the commissioners are, how evil Walmart is, the school system, how much we hate Wake County, blah blah blah.
I have a searchable archive of 1363 Chatlists so far (I started archiving and not just deleting about five years ago) and I need only click through any group of about ten of them to find yet another example of poo-flinging. Most of the responses to this sort of behavior are negatively additive, only leading to more squabbling until Gene decides he’s tired of it and forwards posts to the community of bitter shut-ins that is the remaining crowd on the BBS.
I’m announcing my alternative approach to this trend. I’m laughing at you and basking in the light of my clear intellectual superiority. While doing so, I plan to heavily patronize Walmart and Lowe’s, get some exotic piercings, wear annoying bright multicolored clothes that someone was clearly chugging lysergic acid diethylamide to conceptualize in the first place, listen to Jefferson Airplane at full volume with the windows down while driving with no muffler and three pointless running generators bolted to the trunk lid, burn fifty kilograms of patchouli in a parking lot, fracture everything underground that I can drill my way into, and vote for the person that’s running against your favorite candidate.
Okay, so I probably won’t do those things. Since the Chatlist is a source of entertainment, I hope the mere thought of one person doing all of those brought a smile to your face. If it didn’t, you’re the problem and need to leave. I suggest you try the newest multiplayer role-playing game that’s all the rage.
It’s called “outside.”
I hear the graphics are pretty good, and it apparently elevates your mood so that you don’t treat your neighbors like crap via message boards and mailing lists since you’ll have to talk to them face-to-face.
Messages sent in reply to this will be mocked and ridiculed.
(Poorly.)
-Le Cryptique du Sud
Fort comme un boeuf
C’est vraiment agaçant
Crtptik, it is of note that you cannot leave your “real name”, that is assuming you have one.
Your remarks besmirch the Constitution of the US and our Rights.
The caustic and “snarty” attitude of your remarks begs for comment, and, yet to do so is exactly what you want. Your “superior intellect” is only superseded by your disregard for others. It was not the “superior intellect” that fought for Independence, or the war of 1812, or the Spanish-American War, or WWI, WWII, The Korean War, The Vietnam War, all the Mid-East Wars and conflicts,- no, you were safe and sound “laughing” at those. Where has your blood been spilled? Doubtless in the gutter of cowards.