Stop waving a bible

On: April 30, 2020

Stop waving a bible

I apologize in advance for this being a long post. I want to get a point across.

I want you to read this and take it to heart from someone who has walked in similar shoes . I will share with you my experience with charity and asking for help . I was once in a bad place where my kids needed things and I couldn’t provide them . I believe that’s the worst place a parent can be . I went down the path your on and tried to depend on others to help me out of MY situation with MY kids needs . Long time subscribers to this chatlist know me . Many remember me going down the same path you are on now .. I too begged for help and I guess I felt things were so hopeless for me I had to depend on OTHERS to help me fix MY problem . I was in bad shape . I have been hit by lightning . I have experienced a few car accidents , being caught in hurricanes , floods and a 63 Ford Galaxie falling on me. I felt broken and useless .

At some point I started hearing all the chatter about me asking for help and it made me mad as I saw others who were in better shape getting all this help but not me . I did not set out to take advantage of anyone but in the end I think I did . I felt entitled and I felt I should get as much help a anyone else in a bad spot . I got some help and things got some better but instead of relying on myself at that point I kept taking . I took advantage of peoples kindness and it bit me in the ass just like it is you right now .

I found myself thinking of my daddy . He struggled the last ten years of his life to support the family and keep his business afloat . I never understood how he did it at that time . His problems started with blocked arteries in his heart . He had no insurance but UNC worked with him and he struggled even more to pay for balloon surgery that saved his life . Just a few short years later he felt week and thought it was his heart . His heart was fine , it was cancer and this was a new worse struggle . I watched my daddy go to chemo and somehow manage to get up and go to church on Sunday morning . He was so exhausted after church he would come home and go back to bed . He had surgery to remove most of his stomach and went into remission and had about 3 of the best years he ever had .

He woke September 25th 1995 , a Monday morning and felt he couldn’t breath . Mama called the ambulance because his color was so pale . They got him to Chatham Hospital where they couldn’t figure out what was going on with him as he went down hill fast . He told mama he loved her and to tell the kids he loved them and that he didn’t hurt . He went to sleep and peacefully passed away . Doctors had no clue at that point what happened to daddy .

This happened before my oh poor me phase of my life and if I had paid any attention to what was happening in daddy’s life I would have had my answer to MY problems . I was lost and my world literally fell apart . Courts , divorce , lightning strikes , and declining health took me from feeling arrogantly invincible to useless . It was at this point I asked for help .

I should have remembered the old worn out Bible that was left beside daddy’s side of the bed when he left us . It was tattered , worn , pages marked with scriptures underlined from decades of use . Daddy never once asked anyone for help but yet in his worst time of his life help came . Daddy never waved a bible and quoted scripture trying to generate sympathy for him . He never once said oh poor me ,, not once .

Daddy had faith . He had that rock solid you can shake it but its still there faith . He never waved a bible . He read it . Even thought he could recite scripture at the drop of a pin to share his faith he never used scripture to manipulate peoples sympathy or actions . He used scripture to help him change his mind and actions . He had that old time religion that gave him peace . God looked after daddy even in the end .

Doctors didn’t know what killed him till after the autopsy . It was a blood clot from a previous surgery that dislodged and moved to his lungs . It very peacefully and painlessly put him to sleep and killed him . Doc said he died as peaceful and painless as a person could that we would be lucky to go that way . The autopsy also showed that if that clot hadn’t dislodged he wouldn’t have lived 6 more months . The cancer we all thought was gone had come back and spread all over his body . If he had lived he would have died slowly in agonizing pain over the next few months . God blessed daddy and spared him that pain by taking him away from this world the way he did , peacefully and painlessly

I will get back to the point at hand now as to what changed my situation . When I hit my lowest point I found myself wishing daddy was here and thinking of him a lot . I realized that he never asked people to help him . He asked god . People will let you down , god wont . I have frequently used the short version of one of daddy’s sayings here , No matter what happens , don’t get excited . The long version is , No matter what happens , don’t get excited , God will work it out , you may not like how he works it out but he will work it out for you , have faith ! God may not give you what you want but he will give you what you need .

I could start spewing scripture but I’m not . That’s not what Christian is . A Christian is a person who has faith that god is the answer to ALL their needs . When you wave a bible and use it to get attention or to sway the hearts of people to gain favor your not gaining favor with god . Your putting your faith in mankind not god . Not everyone waving a Bible is saved or close to god . As a Christian your supposed to give your problems to god not hold onto them and expect someone else to fix what you cant .

Christians are not perfect in fact we are often some of the most imperfect people you will find . When I realized that I didn’t have to be perfect I just had to trust in god and allow my faith to grow everything changed . I was baptized at 13 and saved but I didn’t find god until I was near 50 . I didn’t listen to what gods all about . I thought it was about church and scripture and that is part of it but not the most important part .. Its your faith and belief god will answer your prayers and fill you needs .. I said needs not wants . I believe god will give us what we want sometimes but in his wisdom he gives us what we really need . I firmly believe god helps those who helps themselves and the last few years has shown me that’s true .

I could talk about my problems possibly being worse than yours but since I gave them to god I’m not going to take them back . I happy , I have peace and I learned if you memorize scripture and not listen to its meaning you wont find god . If you truly look for god , god will find you .. I’m not being mean or hateful . I’m trying to help you help yourself . I don’t like to ask anyone for anything anymore . So please quit waving a Bible and reciting memorized scriptures you don’t truly understand . Read it slowly and listen to what its saying and I promise you ,, no matter what happens don’t get excited , god will work it out . When you learn to depend on god first to help you with what you cant do yourself , you won’t need to ask for any help . If you need help god will send it . Hey I’m doing just fine even in a pandemic ! God is good !