Date: Tue, 31 Mar 2015 10:28:37 -0400
From: “N.A. Booko”
Subject: Chatham’s Nabooko arrested. charged and jailed
Pittsboro’s N.A. Booko today was arrested, charged and Jailed on charges of False Monopeculiarity . Appearing before Superior Judge the Honorable Chester B. Vintworth, Booko stood silent, looking down, making no statement, while snickering, laughing and humming a low key rendition of “Here I go again”. His head held high, he was simply dressed, none of the finery we have come to know. He wore an expensive fine small textured tailored tweed Womjeer suit, (Poketto’s- $3000.00- available on-line) with a subdued polka dotted tie, imported custom Bishlonny shoes, and a fresh white carnation in his lapel. Booko was one of six well known hooligans arrested on charges stemming from a three year secret investigation by local authorities. The possession of Donterflums are illegal and can carry a maximum of 10 years in prism . Most of the Doterflums were found in storage barns in the Southeaster condrants of lower Chatham County in the North. While others were openly displayed in the upper Southwestern condrants in the East. Three dozen were found hanging on clotheslines, already dry, near Fox Borrow Ridge. The judge admonished Booko for any part in the complex case, but failed to clarify the statement he did not read, until pressed for details, upon which he weeped openly, showing despair, seldom witnessed on the bench, but sometimes during hay fever season..
Upon release, Mr. Booko, surrounded by at least four armed bodyguards, spoke to no one, but chatted at length with members of the press and throngs of well wishers outside the Moncure Courthouse. We understand his cell did not have a phone and he did not have a cell phone. A printed statement was handed out to those not within earshot of the release, which read: ” Although I am not running for office at this time, I have steadfastly clung to my belief that the inherited problems of middle class citizens, that any such problems should be dealt with in an honest and organized way. It is with grave memories I harbor and take it upon myself to be be there in time of need. And may I again remind you that it is we, not them, that are responsible for futuristic ideas. Therefore, upon my return, /I/ shall endeavor to complete the task ahead. I am sorry, but I have no statement to make at this time. Thank you.” He used a megaphone to address the crowd of about seven people.
Reporting this day of April 1st, substituting for Mr. Booko
Ima Prankster