The ‘chemtrails’ conspiracy theory was old when these here hills were young

The ‘chemtrails’ conspiracy theory was old when these here hills were young

Honey, you got your head in the clouds. The ‘chemtrails’ conspiracy theory was old when these here hills were young. What you’re seeing are called “contrails” — it’s what happens when the engines on jet planes exhaust into air that’s colder than their exhaust. You go up a mile or two, the air’s a lot thinner — try living at the top of Colorado for a week or two, you’ll see what I mean — and the weird thing is, because of all that science you can’t be bothered to believe in, the thinner air gets the colder it usually is.

The heat you’re feeling is because of global warming. My mother’s said for years we should just call it “climate chaos”, because that’s the effect it has. I’ll leave the determination as to causes and whatnot to those more invested in the debate, and simply state that — the effects are a matter of public record, and there are no naysayers of any meaningful repute in the scientific community, and as such, I personally see no merit in any controversy myself, the matter is self-evident. But I suppose there are those who like to argue for the sake of arguing, and those who might benefit, for a while at least, from what denial they can extract from themselves and the masses around them.

Given all of that, Miss Henry, perhaps a better suggestion as religious actions go, might be that you should pray that God lead you to use the brains He gave you, a bit better than the rather poor showing you’re currently giving. So far I’ve heard little from you that is anything other than paramount evidence that age, in and of itself, conveys neither knowledge nor wisdom, regardless of one’s volume of experiences, so this would be a rather prudent course of action indeed.

Alternatively, you might instead consider adopting a small herd of cats, as it would go well with the sort of things you seem to enjoy spouting off about, and it would likely be a bit easier for God to help you feed and care for a few dozen felines than to fire up the eighty-six billion or so neurons you’ve got up there in relatively coherent form and order — especially given that He’s quite obviously had a bit of trouble with the latter for some time now.

Also, because it sadly must be said — Gene, this should not have been a topic that entered the Chatlist to begin with. Conspiracy theories are not Chathamcentric, period. You’ve done better in the past, and I’ve been here to see it; I don’t understand the reason for the decline since. I’d like to see a little more effort put into the bunkem filter going forward, please — and, at present, far less than a full week to air out this meritless topic and the inevitable horribly shouty race-to-the-bottom-of-the-stupidity-barrel drama-fest that always results.

Remember what Isaac Asimov had to say about democracy and intellect — and let’s see this shipped out by Wednesday, at the latest. (Sooner would be far better!) That’s plenty enough time by far to air out something that should never have been broadcast in the first place.

From: Christopher Havel
Sent: Monday, June 13, 2022 at 07:14:12 AM EDT
Subject: Ms Henry’s Chemtrails Claim