Comrades,
You know the real estate mantra? “location Location LOCATION”
Holly and jolly is Only OK with the mantra: “safety Safety SAFETY”. The following guidelines will prevent this being deemed a SuperSpreader, Maxi Spreader, Spreader, or Mini, Micro, or Nano Spreader event.
Under the beard, Santa may be a Public Health Authority. Obey Authority. Remain behind sealed glass when “communicating” with Santa. Wave only gently. Wear a mask, and INSIST Santa to wear one too; “Santa protects you. You protect Santa.”
Speaking of beard, that reduces mask efficiency AND implies Santa identifies as male. Our County best shave Santa, and I daresay, depict they gender fluid. To avoid propagating heteronormative thinking, a surprise visit is in order from the other, also gender fluid, Mr. Claus.
If you thoroughly scrub your letter contact surfaces with Purell [-insert popup ad Javascript here -] Santa will accept them. Santa may incinerate them though, killing Virus you as a non-Expert didn’t scrub. And generating electricity “renewably”, not by fracking.
Do not exit your vehicle! Keep windows up and doors locked! Wear masks; window seals may be inadequate to stop the Virus from attacking Santa. If you irresponsibly drive a fossil fuel monstrosity, do NOT idle in line. Idling exacerbates climate change. It emits pollution and SCIENCE SAYS: pollution is Virus steroid. The steroid AMPED Virus (picture Chris Cuomo) viciously attacks the disenfranchised and weak (also like Chris). Like all things Amerikkkan, the Virus is elitist, privileged, perpetuating injustice and inequality. Notice the Virus is impotent in China, home of equality, racial harmony (Uighur Muslims in concentration camps included), brother/sisterhood, and Health-positive cameras, drones, and social scoring.
Reject taxpayer donated reindeer food. Reindeer, like minks, may be trolls that mutate the Virus to be more virulent. “Don’t feed the trolls”.
Maintain silence. Talking, even whispering, can transmit the Virus. “Your Silence confirms your Compliance”. Comply at this taxpayer sponsored event. As The Atlantic says, “Mask Up and Shut Up”:
https://chathamjournal.com/2020/09/10/imho-mask-up-and-shut-up/
Last, report criminal Health violators. “I inform on you. You inform on me.”
Yours in Health Revolution. Supreme Health Czar, and Virus Reich Fuhrer,
Douglas “Adolf X. Stalin” Sedlak
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 2020 14:23:54 -0500
From: Douglas Sedlak
Subject: Holly Jolly Drive-thru: Health Considerations