Funny Chatlist fiction about gentlemen’s club

Date: Thu, 30 Apr 2009 15:51:35 -0400
From: John Bonitz
Subject: FUNNY FICTION Re: liquor by the drink

Dear Neighbors,

I awoke this morning to a piece of Chatlist fiction that was at first shocking, then quite funny!

Perhaps others read the salacious ‘news’ of a New Jersey company seeking to open a ‘gentlemens club’ here in Chatham?  The so-called ‘press release’ began by saying this would happen “if liquor by the drink is approved.”

I’ve seen a few sketchy press releases in my days, but this one takes the cake!  It was totally laughable!  The first thing that set-off my skeptic-alarm was the idea that a New Jersey business would pick tiny little Chatham County to build a strip-tease joint!   Fayetteville, maybe.  But Chatham?!?  No way.

Sure enough, the email address of the sender was faked, and so was the address for the supposed New Jersey company:

http://www.rolosoft.com/software/email-check/wa/lite/validate.aspx
Email   Date checked        Status
4/30/2009 2:30:43 PM   Not valid
4/30/2009 2:31:40 PM    Not valid

Then I checked with a friend who knows a lot about county planning ordinances.  I was assured that our zoning does not allow either ‘gentlemens clubs’ or adult book stores.

The funniest part of this story is the origin of “Tony’s Cabaret.”  A quick google search delivered a half dozen literary references to this fictional establishment, including one novel called “Northwoods Pulp” by Thomas Sparrow.  Suffice it to say, the use of ‘gentlemens club’ in this novel gave me new perspectives on the phrase.  (Don’t look it up if you’re offended by tawdry language.)

I’d just like to thank the anonymous author of this funny piece of fiction for brightening my day with a laugh!  Such blatant fear-mongering about liquor-by-the-drink actually helps more than hurts.  I thank you for it!

I support the liquor-by-the-drink referendum because our county must have more tax revenue to meet the demands of new residential development (thanks to Bunkey and gang!).  I am also in favor of allowing existing restaurants more options to boost sales.  If an adult wants to spend money on a liquor drink with dinner, and a licensed bartender is serving, why should we prevent it?  I am also assured by the studies showing that drinking and driving is no higher in wet counties than in dry counties. http://chathamvote4mixedbeverages.org/ Finally, I am confident that it will help our community.

I voted early.  You can too!  http://www.chathamnc.org/Index.aspx?page=872

Y’all go vote in favor of this referendum!

John Bonitz
Pittsboro, NC